theZeph

namely, fit for a dog

Posts Tagged ‘hair vacation

22

with 8 comments

Unless you are a mathematician (or somewhat odd) you likely have not looked up a number on Wikipedia. I suppose I fall into the “somewhat odd” camp – my 8th grade geometry teacher would certainly agree I am no mathematician.

So just for fun I looked up the number twenty-two. Fascinating, I tell you.

For instance, did you know:

  • When cutting a circle with just six line segments, the maximum number of pieces that can be so created is 22, thus 22 is a central polygonal number (you don’t say)
  • Psalm 118 verse 22 contains all 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and is dead center of the Bible (for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to go through the effort to validate this one)
  • 22 is worn by Manchester United player, John O’Shea, the only player in club history to have played all 11 positions (this one is for you Mark)
  • The Titanic was traveling at a speed of 22 knots before it crashed into an iceberg (this is a somewhat dubious claim, but interesting nonetheless)
  • There are 22 stars in the Paramount Films logo (this one is legit – I counted)

So what, pray tell, does 22 have to do with this post?

Eggnog. That’s what.

Because my wife loves me (or wants to kill me – I am not sure) this past winter our refrigerator looked like this on most days:

theWife buys in bulk. The real glory of this is that I am the only one in the family who really likes eggnog. Consequently I set a new benchmark for myself. Between the drive home from Fall Moab in October and the end of February I consumed a LOT of eggnog. Yes, I said February. Eggnog makes great food storage.

22 quarts to be precise (this is legit – I counted). If you are keeping track at home, that equates to:

  • 792 grams of fat
  • 26,400 calories
  • 7.54 lbs of weight gain (assuming 3,500 calories equals an lb)

Just from the eggnog alone.

Which would be life sustaining, if that is all I consumed over the winter and hadn’t already established that I have some restraint issues when it comes to junk food.

When I started my eggnog binge back in October, I had just completed two long days of main-lined awesomeness riding with friends in Fruita. Prior to that I had completed the Leadville 100 in August and LOTOJA in September and was feeling pretty svelte (if I do say so myself).

The intervention came in February, when upon returning from a run I found a stranger in my house. I first noticed him when I walked by a bedroom mirror and caught a peripheral glimpse of him in his tights.

“Why would some dude sneak into our house in tights?” was my first thought.

“Oh sweet mercy!” was the realization.

The man in the mirror…was me.

After a pretty active year, surely you can understand how I mistook this for a stranger:

Now that I am 37, another problem I’m noticing (in addition to my sweet tooth) is that I can’t seem to keep the winter weight off.

Let’s just say this winter was an unpleasant wake up call. A real doozie.

With a planned death run across the Grand Canyon and back, RAWROD, 12 Hours of Mesa Verde, the Squaw Peak 50, Butte 100, and Park City Point 2 Point coming up over the next 5 months, I best be for doing some sit ups or getting some gastric bypass work done.

PS – I also don’t recommend going on a hair vacation and a health vacation at the same time. This winter I became Gene Frenkle.

Advertisements

Written by eber

April 11, 2010 at 8:26 am

i elect to deFUR

with 21 comments

I don’t think it’s a great secret that I really like football; but there’s one thing that just drives me nutso. If you win the coin toss…why on the great green earth do you defer? Lamest idea in the history of sports.

Scratch that. Curling is the lamest idea in the history of sports.

For me, changing looks has kinda become a sport in and of itself. Those of you who know me have also known the many phases of me. For those of you who aren’t as familiar, you can get a flavor here:

hair1

I have a tendency to switch things up a bit. Keep it interesting, if you will.

Sometimes good and sometimes…not so much.

So┬áin the past two days, no fewer than 12 friends and colleagues have given me and my current “do” an unusual amount of grief. Not sure why, really. I mean I haven’t shaved much since October and the hair is looking a bit…Chris McCandless.

Have a look:

bad-hair

So after suffering through almost a week of people calling me Squatch (among other unmentionables), I have won the proverbial coin toss.

And I elect to deFUR.

This is where you come in.

The hair is off limits – I’ll let Jessi the Barber decide what to do there.

But the beard…that’s a whole nother story.

Give me your best ideas and I will shave accordingly (I draw the line at the Hitler stache, but the Ron Jeremy stache is negotiable).

Written by eber

March 2, 2009 at 12:00 am