theZeph

namely, fit for a dog

Archive for the ‘not so common’ Category

he STILL likes the bad guys

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Remember back here, when we learned how great it was to share the experience that is The Trilogy with my oldest son?

And remember how it all took a turn for the worse..suddenly theFirst Born became enamored with all characters dark and villainous.

Trust me. Back when I thought it was a good idea to expose a 4 year old to Star Wars, I did indeed go through the “goodly parent” checklist before pushing play.

Q: Am I just going to plunk the kid down in front of the tube so I can get something else done?

A: Heck no – I am going to plunk both the kid AND the dad down in front of the tube…the tube can baby sit BOTH of us.  [check]

Q: Will this be an activity that educates or is it just a mindless waste of time?

A: Are you kidding?  It’s STAR WARS!  Think how much smarter Einstein would have been had he lived long enough to be enlightened by the great theatrical masterpiece that is The Trilogy.  [check]

Q: What’s the MPAA rating?

A: PG – and we are talking 1977 PG so that is like the uber G rating in today’s terms.  [check]

Okay, goodly parent checklist complete.

[6 months later]

As we walked over to pick up theFirst Born from Sunday School, his teacher was waiting at the door.  Red faced.  Tears streaming down her cheeks.  Laughing uncontrollably.

Uh oh.

Apparently the lesson was on prayer.  When she asked for examples of what we can pray for theFirst Born responded:

“Heavenly Father, HELP ME, HELP ME.  Please Heavenly Father help me put my head back on.”

[crickets]

Back when I was going through the checklist, how was I supposed to remember everything on the “goodly parent” checklist AND the part in Star Wars when Luke sabers Vader’s head off while training in the Degoba System?

It wasn’t even the REAL vader…it was more like a dream.

theWife isn’t buying it.  Now SHE goes over the checklist with me before I put any Father/Son plans in action.

Like I said, Sundays BEFORE kids was MUCH different.

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Written by eber

May 10, 2009 at 12:00 am

who needs bear skin?

with 7 comments

I really love me some Southern Utah.

Not just for the great hiking, biking, and climbing – cause that’s all good.  But down south things seem to get a little, shall we say…idiosyncratic.

Like for instance the town of Tocquerville.  Interesting name.  I can see the first settlers relaxing around the campfire, weary from their long and difficult trip across the red rock mountains and desert:

“Hey, Obadiah…what say we roast one.  Then we gots to think of a right proper name for this here place.”

Or how about the Fillmore-Beaver area?  We all love the Fillmore-Beaver area…right?

What about those whacky LaVerkians.  You know, the folks from the great town of LaVerkin.

What exactly is a LaVerkin?

Anyhow.  Remember when those insightful folks on the LaVerkin city council voted to outlaw the United Nations?  It’s true. LaVerkin is a United Nations Free Zone.  So if by chance you are ever on the run from the UN…you now know which town to make a break for.

So last weekend I loaded up The Family and we headed down for some Southern Utah livin’.  After a very muddy and unfulfilling bike ride I happened upon this:

shag-rug-la

Just your everyday, run of the mill, traveling rug sale.  And judging by the flags, a very international rug sale to boot.  But, in and of itself, not really out of the ordinary.

Until my eyes got a load of THIS:

mudflap

That’s right.  The Naked Lady Mud Flap AREA RUG!

Now this was no ordinary entry rug…it was 4′ WIDE x 6′ LONG (yes…I did in fact measure it).

So…who buys this?

And where, EXACTLY, do they put this in their home?

“Say little lady.  It’s getting a little [ahem]…nipply in here.  What say we cozy up by the fire on my new bare skin rug?  It matches the sweet mudflaps on my F150.  Now if I could just me find some curtains with Calvin pissin’ on that Chevy logo.”

Wow.

Written by eber

February 20, 2009 at 6:32 pm