namely, fit for a dog


with 8 comments

Unless you are a mathematician (or somewhat odd) you likely have not looked up a number on Wikipedia. I suppose I fall into the “somewhat odd” camp – my 8th grade geometry teacher would certainly agree I am no mathematician.

So just for fun I looked up the number twenty-two. Fascinating, I tell you.

For instance, did you know:

  • When cutting a circle with just six line segments, the maximum number of pieces that can be so created is 22, thus 22 is a central polygonal number (you don’t say)
  • Psalm 118 verse 22 contains all 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and is dead center of the Bible (for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to go through the effort to validate this one)
  • 22 is worn by Manchester United player, John O’Shea, the only player in club history to have played all 11 positions (this one is for you Mark)
  • The Titanic was traveling at a speed of 22 knots before it crashed into an iceberg (this is a somewhat dubious claim, but interesting nonetheless)
  • There are 22 stars in the Paramount Films logo (this one is legit – I counted)

So what, pray tell, does 22 have to do with this post?

Eggnog. That’s what.

Because my wife loves me (or wants to kill me – I am not sure) this past winter our refrigerator looked like this on most days:

theWife buys in bulk. The real glory of this is that I am the only one in the family who really likes eggnog. Consequently I set a new benchmark for myself. Between the drive home from Fall Moab in October and the end of February I consumed a LOT of eggnog. Yes, I said February. Eggnog makes great food storage.

22 quarts to be precise (this is legit – I counted). If you are keeping track at home, that equates to:

  • 792 grams of fat
  • 26,400 calories
  • 7.54 lbs of weight gain (assuming 3,500 calories equals an lb)

Just from the eggnog alone.

Which would be life sustaining, if that is all I consumed over the winter and hadn’t already established that I have some restraint issues when it comes to junk food.

When I started my eggnog binge back in October, I had just completed two long days of main-lined awesomeness riding with friends in Fruita. Prior to that I had completed the Leadville 100 in August and LOTOJA in September and was feeling pretty svelte (if I do say so myself).

The intervention came in February, when upon returning from a run I found a stranger in my house. I first noticed him when I walked by a bedroom mirror and caught a peripheral glimpse of him in his tights.

“Why would some dude sneak into our house in tights?” was my first thought.

“Oh sweet mercy!” was the realization.

The man in the mirror…was me.

After a pretty active year, surely you can understand how I mistook this for a stranger:

Now that I am 37, another problem I’m noticing (in addition to my sweet tooth) is that I can’t seem to keep the winter weight off.

Let’s just say this winter was an unpleasant wake up call. A real doozie.

With a planned death run across the Grand Canyon and back, RAWROD, 12 Hours of Mesa Verde, the Squaw Peak 50, Butte 100, and Park City Point 2 Point coming up over the next 5 months, I best be for doing some sit ups or getting some gastric bypass work done.

PS – I also don’t recommend going on a hair vacation and a health vacation at the same time. This winter I became Gene Frenkle.

Written by eber

April 11, 2010 at 8:26 am

8 Responses

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  1. Hey dude, this is Brayden: It is so funny what you wrote and mainly the pictures you took.
    From Kembree: That was hilarious! Why were you wearing tights?

    From me: Funny post man, got a good chuckle…… Looking forward to Rawrod, MesaVerde, Butte, and PCPP.
    As for Squaw Peak and the Grand Canyon run———I have no words but I’m glad I’m NOT in.

    Brandon Banks

    April 11, 2010 at 10:00 am

  2. Cancel your life insurance, that should stop the eggnog poisoning.

    Very funny post. I’ll bring you a cowbell for RAWROD.


    April 11, 2010 at 10:42 am

  3. reading your post is like looking in the mirror.


    April 11, 2010 at 8:11 pm

  4. You’re sticking out your gut, right? Please tell me you’re sticking that thing out.

    How close was the 7.54 calculated to the actual?

    Oh, and I had no idea John O’Shea had played all 11 positions. Wonder how many players can claim that? Phil Jagielka maybe. Thierry Henry has played keeper, but I don’t know if he’s ever played the other defensive spots. Used to be a midfielder back in the day, and a striker now, so maybe. But never all with one club.


    April 12, 2010 at 10:15 am

  5. Banks – nothing like your 8 year old daughter calling me out for wearing tights. Nice.

    Mark – how I wish I wasn’t sticking that thing out. that is unfortunately all mass and gravity. all told I went from 167 to 188 from Oct-Feb. apparently haven’t learned my lesson – as I type this I am eating a corn dog and cheesy tater tots. ps – your knowledge of ESL is rivaled only by Banks knowledge of metal bands.


    April 12, 2010 at 5:12 pm

  6. Oh my so many chocies! If its as easy as you say – it could easily be made in seasonal colors so I could have a dieffrent one for Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter!


    May 23, 2017 at 7:26 pm

  7. I keep planning vacations in my head that will specifically involve research for a novel, but when we go anywhere, it’s all about seeing the sights. I think it’d be fun though, just to go live in a different place for two or three months at a time. Ah, but that money factor…

  8. You know that I walk my dogs daily & workout's just FOR ME because I enjoy it & what it does for me along with how it makes me look and feel. However, when I began Tai Chi, it was for other reasons. Now, I've found that the addition of Tai Chi has given me as much physically as mentally!!…:)JP

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