remember two things

So you know how sometimes you’re doing a thing and then you do a bunch of other things after you did the first thing and then you kind of forgot that you did the first thing?

That happened to me yesterday.

I went for a really great ride up Big Cottonwood Canyon (that was the thing).

Then I met the family halfway down the canyon for pancakes and eggs around the campfire (a great family tradition I married into).  After that we went looking for fireworks and food to celebrate the nation’s birth  (those were the other things).

Upon returning home I learned two things I feel are VERY important to share with you all:

The First Thing

Always, ALWAYS remember after a bike ride (no matter how many things you’ve done in between) that you attached your bike to the roof rack BEFORE you drive into the garage.  Otherwise THIS could happen to you:

Uh huh.

It’s like reading the end of Old Yeller all over again.

My legs went weak when I first saw the destruction.

Five minutes later I found myself sitting awkwardly on the running board of the car.  Apparently in my fragile state I opted to sit pinned between the door and the seat rather than just collapsing back into the driver’s seat.  Traumatic episodes tend to have that effect.

The Second Thing

After you futilely attempt to use your bike as a battering ram and your wife asks “what was THAT?”   I recommend you DON’T respond with:

“That was my f*cking bike.”

Especially NOT when the kids are still in the car.

Commit these two simple lessons to memory and you will find bliss.

Here endeth the lesson.

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