theZeph

namely, fit for a dog

remember two things

with 26 comments

So you know how sometimes you’re doing a thing and then you do a bunch of other things after you did the first thing and then you kind of forgot that you did the first thing?

That happened to me yesterday.

I went for a really great ride up Big Cottonwood Canyon (that was the thing).

Then I met the family halfway down the canyon for pancakes and eggs around the campfire (a great family tradition I married into).  After that we went looking for fireworks and food to celebrate the nation’s birth  (those were the other things).

Upon returning home I learned two things I feel are VERY important to share with you all:

The First Thing

Always, ALWAYS remember after a bike ride (no matter how many things you’ve done in between) that you attached your bike to the roof rack BEFORE you drive into the garage.  Otherwise THIS could happen to you:

Crumpled Bike

Uh huh.

It’s like reading the end of Old Yeller all over again.

My legs went weak when I first saw the destruction.

Five minutes later I found myself sitting awkwardly on the running board of the car.  Apparently in my fragile state I opted to sit pinned between the door and the seat rather than just collapsing back into the driver’s seat.  Traumatic episodes tend to have that effect.

The Second Thing

After you futilely attempt to use your bike as a battering ram and your wife asks “what was THAT?”   I recommend you DON’T respond with:

“That was my f*cking bike.”

Especially NOT when the kids are still in the car.

Commit these two simple lessons to memory and you will find bliss.

Here endeth the lesson.

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Written by eber

July 5, 2009 at 7:52 am

26 Responses

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  1. Wow! I would have said the same thing! That effin blows! My condolences…….One of my largest fears!

    Nate Dawg

    July 5, 2009 at 8:45 am

  2. On a positive note – New Bike! That was a trusty steed getting you down the hill safely at 60 MPH. Are you accepting flowers for the gravesite in the backyard? RIP.

    Jdub

    July 5, 2009 at 9:15 am

  3. Doh! I feel your pain, dude. I did the exact same thing years ago.

    Shawn

    July 5, 2009 at 10:57 am

  4. “Only I didn’t say “FUDGE”‘, I said THE word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash word!” RALPHIE PARKER

    Skiddy

    July 5, 2009 at 4:08 pm

  5. Eric, my friend just did this and his insurance (not sure if its home or auto, probably home) bought him a new bike.

    Brad K.

    July 5, 2009 at 7:07 pm

  6. I’m a cyclist, just browsing blogs, ran into this post. Yikes! Sorry to see what happened. This is the exact reason I got a hitch rack. I am exactly the kind of person to do this.
    Thule T2. Worth every penny.

    Good luck with the insurance.

    epicmoonflower

    July 5, 2009 at 7:15 pm

  7. Ooch, I know the pain, I did that also a couple of years ago!

    Shawn

    July 5, 2009 at 9:25 pm

  8. JDub – in lieu of flowers please send donations to the Buy Eric a New Bike Foundation c/o Me

    Brad K. – been crossing my fingers all weekend that my insurance carrier is as magnanimous

    epicmoonflower – already pricing what it would cost to put a hitch on the wagon. thanks for dropping by

    Skiddy – it happened EXACTLY the same way (other than I wasn’t out changing a tire and the dad actually got the “soap POISoning”)

    zeph

    July 6, 2009 at 6:23 am

  9. man……………oh man.

    evilbanks

    July 6, 2009 at 7:10 am

  10. I winced when I saw the photo.

    I had enough close calls with roof racks I switched over to hitch / trunk as soon as I could. I just knew it was only a matter of time until I killed a bike (or bikes).

    Very sorry about the bike – that really sucks.

    KanyonKris

    July 6, 2009 at 8:18 am

  11. With the seats down, there’s plenty of room in the back of a subaru for a bike. That’s how mine get transported even though there are perfectly good roof racks on top. Not that I have experience with smashing bikes into garages or anything. Doesn’t leave much room for the kids with the seat down, but priorities are priorities.

    mark

    July 6, 2009 at 8:22 am

  12. mark – from now on the kids go on the roof rack. there is plenty of clearance for them to get in the garage

    zeph

    July 6, 2009 at 8:30 am

  13. DFCS – that last post was a joke. Albeit a poor one.

    theWife – I really do love the kids WAY more than the bike

    zeph

    July 6, 2009 at 8:32 am

  14. Awesome! I did that right after we moved into our house. My bike was ripped off the roof and bounced twice in the driveway. I got out of the car, saw the dameage and a string of expletives came flying out of my mouth. The neighbor girl heard me and went running into her house. . .I assume to tell her mommy about the bad lady across the street.

    Melinda

    July 6, 2009 at 6:57 pm

  15. Let’s go shopping!

    Rick S.

    July 7, 2009 at 1:27 pm

  16. I did that once. And the F word very nearly, and I think actually did escape my mouth, much to the consternation of my wife. Luckily the damage to the bike was not as…er…significant as yours.

    That is a painful, painful picture.

    Grizzly Adam

    July 7, 2009 at 2:44 pm

  17. Rick S. – the Dolly the Sheep version of your bike is now living at my house. The pain of Saturday is a distant memory.

    zeph

    July 7, 2009 at 4:12 pm

  18. It is only a matter of time before anyone who owns a roof rack runs their bikes into the garage. I have done it as well. My insurance covered the damamge, but it was auto insurance and it was labeled as a collision. Good luck. I know own the Thule T2 that carries 4 bikes. Like the other comment stated above. It really is worth every penny.

    Brandon S.

    July 13, 2009 at 11:46 am

  19. Oh Eric, that really sucks!

    And I think your immediate response was EXTREMELY APPROPRIATE, considering the circumstance, even with the kids in the car.

    OUCH!

    freerangeliberal

    July 14, 2009 at 8:30 am

  20. Wow, you just made me weep a little while at work just seeing that! I have heard some people say that they put their bike glove on their review mirror to remind them that it is up there. If I ever do use a roof rack I will have to do something like that.

    philip

    September 2, 2009 at 10:48 am

  21. Dude! My sympathies to you and your belated (Specialized?) road bike. I can see me doing this and my Uncle in law Has actually done it so you are not alone. Doesn’t make it any better but there it is. on the bright side it looks like your components are nearly all in tack so you are really talking about a new frame set. Ok the blokes from the other side the pond can say it better than I -“Always look on the bright side of life” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo Enjoy the hunt for the new bike
    Ryan

    Ryan

    February 25, 2011 at 11:15 am

  22. heyyy if it makes u feel better.. i just did that 3 days ago… apart from the seat, the bike was unbelieveably ok… luckily the handlebars just missed the concrete above… damaged my car and racks.. but the bike was a survivor 🙂

    johnnydman

    May 7, 2012 at 6:44 am

  23. I can relate, I did the same think todays ago. However, my roof rack broke and crashed into the roof of my car. So now I have a mangled bike, a bent roof rack, and a dented roof. F!CK Awesome

    niffenej

    June 22, 2012 at 3:54 am

  24. […] a taller garage door – this works great not only for SUV’s & trucks or maybe even your car with a bike on the top, but also for the worst case – a vehicle with a wheelchair lift (though I dare say if I did […]

  25. I designed an app (it is free) that solves the bike/garage problem. It can also warn you about Hazards such as that low hanging tree branch, ATM or parking garage that you frequently drive near.

    Please check it out! I’ve worked really hard to make it the best roof rack warning system available.

    http://bit.ly/1n66ZBR

  26. […] a taller garage door – this works great not only for SUV’s & trucks or maybe even your car with a bike on the top, but also for the worst case – a vehicle with a wheelchair lift (though I dare say if I did […]


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