theZeph

namely, fit for a dog

who needs bear skin?

with 7 comments

I really love me some Southern Utah.

Not just for the great hiking, biking, and climbing – cause that’s all good.  But down south things seem to get a little, shall we say…idiosyncratic.

Like for instance the town of Tocquerville.  Interesting name.  I can see the first settlers relaxing around the campfire, weary from their long and difficult trip across the red rock mountains and desert:

“Hey, Obadiah…what say we roast one.  Then we gots to think of a right proper name for this here place.”

Or how about the Fillmore-Beaver area?  We all love the Fillmore-Beaver area…right?

What about those whacky LaVerkians.  You know, the folks from the great town of LaVerkin.

What exactly is a LaVerkin?

Anyhow.  Remember when those insightful folks on the LaVerkin city council voted to outlaw the United Nations?  It’s true. LaVerkin is a United Nations Free Zone.  So if by chance you are ever on the run from the UN…you now know which town to make a break for.

So last weekend I loaded up The Family and we headed down for some Southern Utah livin’.  After a very muddy and unfulfilling bike ride I happened upon this:

shag-rug-la

Just your everyday, run of the mill, traveling rug sale.  And judging by the flags, a very international rug sale to boot.  But, in and of itself, not really out of the ordinary.

Until my eyes got a load of THIS:

mudflap

That’s right.  The Naked Lady Mud Flap AREA RUG!

Now this was no ordinary entry rug…it was 4′ WIDE x 6′ LONG (yes…I did in fact measure it).

So…who buys this?

And where, EXACTLY, do they put this in their home?

“Say little lady.  It’s getting a little [ahem]…nipply in here.  What say we cozy up by the fire on my new bare skin rug?  It matches the sweet mudflaps on my F150.  Now if I could just me find some curtains with Calvin pissin’ on that Chevy logo.”

Wow.

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Written by eber

February 20, 2009 at 6:32 pm

7 Responses

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  1. E, Shannon and I just about passed out on this one. It hits way to close to home and I have a neighbor with the matching curtain. I am not joking but in Farmington Utah, not LaVerkin a home proudly displays a naked lady curtain! Yes, I walked into a wife and an 11 year old son with very different looks on their face. It wouldn’t be so bad but it’s the neighbor next door. Needless to say “for sale by owner” or “the straw that broke the camels back.”. Thanks for the laugh!

    leish

    February 20, 2009 at 8:42 pm

  2. ahhh, LaVerkin…. Years ag on the way to Vegas for some Craps I was once refused gas there because I was traveling with a “Jap” in the car with me. (My friend was from Japan)
    By the way he was dressed he was obvoiusly part of the local skin head militia. I think most parts of Southern Utah are only good for the beautiful land that was there before modern idiots occupied it.

    Lorie L.

    February 20, 2009 at 9:48 pm

  3. leish – nothing like external influences forcing your hand on the birds and the bees discussion. wish i’d seen jake’s face

    lorie l – i LIVED next to a whole house of those so. utah skin heads for a year. talk about an education. sheesh

    zeph

    February 21, 2009 at 8:29 am

  4. I’ve always known that town of LaVerkin had something going for them. Now you’ve brought to light just what that is, but I better not comment. I think you’ve said enough.

    B. Wilde

    February 23, 2009 at 12:27 pm

  5. The mud flap picture I found interesting … I never noticed before her silhouette shows a smile; I would like to think the reason being I never saw it this up-close before, but I have to be honest in wondering if I just happened to be focusing my gaze a little southward in the past.

    Erik Riessen

    February 23, 2009 at 1:39 pm

  6. In my youth, a “toke” was in reference to inhalation. Do you think the forbears of those UN bustin’ bad boys named the town after a habit? Next time you pass through look for an empty pack of Chesterfields or better yet, a seed patch on the outskirts. That could explain the town name and their behavior.

    Dad

    February 24, 2009 at 2:01 pm

  7. b. wilde – i am pretty sure this blog is out of your hr jurisdiction

    erik – she does have very nice toes

    dad – chesterfields? that kinda dates you.

    zeph

    February 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm


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